Claustrophobia depression

Every winter I suffer from Seasonally Affected Disorder; in other words depression. Except it hasn’t hit me yet this season and I’m three weeks later into the season than usual. The only difference I’ve noticed about this year as opposed to all the others is the shortage of snow. Today is February 4th and there is no snow on the ground.

By this time every other year I’ve felt the walls closing in on me. Claustrophobia is my primary source of depression and the open winter while nearly as cold as others doesn’t feel as restricting.

There are numerous sources of that closed in feeling including three consecutive days of rain, power outages, small and crowded spaces, airplane cabins and unresolved sin, but none as prevalent as winter with its dark days, cold temperatures and snow.

While I hear people praying for snow as if it’s something to be desired I’m never among them, not even for Christmas. As the television advertisement says “Depression hurts…everyone.” It’s as if the coffin lid is closed and nailed shut with me inside. The hopelessness is deafening. The darkness comes from inside me to meet the darkness invading from outside.  If you’ve never felt it creeping up on you as the season progresses you are indeed fortunate. Medication helps but only helps to a point as the depression stalks me minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day until the weather breaks with the arrival of spring.

I praise God for this open winter, for these three additional weeks of sanity; these three weeks of being able to breathe and experience life. It’s an amazing gift I’ve never experienced in February.


About oldelvdm16

An old guy who likes writing, loves his family and his God.
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4 Responses to Claustrophobia depression

  1. Olivia Stocum says:

    I think I get this too. Several days in a row of rain or dark, cold really changes my outlook.

    • oldelvdm16 says:

      Olivia: Unfortunately it isn’t uncommon. But that doesn’t make it pleasant. Full spectrum lighting in your home can help but winter is a long season. Have a great day and God Bless you. Ed

  2. John says:

    I don’t have SAD….I just don’t like cold and snow. Glad we both can enjoy the weather. Hope it doesn’t slap us in the face when it’s supposed to be spring.

    • oldelvdm16 says:

      I mostly just don’t like the weather until the middle of January when my spirit usually turns nasty when people say they’re praying for snow. But so far this winter is redeeming itself and I’m not ready to crawl into bed until April or go out destroy a ski resort. Have a good day Connie…I feel so bad for you and your family. Your father in law was just a year older than I am. Ed.

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